DAY 8 : BETTY WALLACE
 Submitted by Kevin Wallace
It
is hard for me to talk about my mother because, I miss her
dearly and she had such a large impact on my life.
I would not be the person I am today if
it was not for my mother. She encouraged
me to dream, to set goals and then go after
them. I always had a great deal of support
from my mom. I am truly grateful she was
in my life for the 23 years that she was.
I learned from my mom what strength was
all about. It s hard for me to imagine the
challenges my mother experienced and how
she was able to cope. In 1979, my father
suffered an aneurism while he was up in
an apple tree, in our backyard, doing regular
spring pruning. He suddenly fell, breaking
his neck and four ribs. Unfortunately, he
wasn t correctly diagnosed with an aneurism
because the doctors thought it was a fluke
accident.
My father spent four months in the hospital
recovering. During this time my mom spent
everyday at the hospital. Soon after, she
started noticing that my father was getting
very irritable and grumpy. These were two
qualities that didn’t t exist in my
father s character. When my Mother had approached
the doctors with this concern they justified
my Father s moods blaming the long hospital
stay, still no further tests were taken.
My father experienced his second aneurism
during his stay at the hospital, surviving
only two more months, in a coma. After having
visited the hospital daily for six months,
my mother was devastated. My father s death
had a huge impact on all of us. I was 9,
my sister, Alison was 14 and my older brother
Jim was 18.
The loss seemed to have the greatest impact
on Jim. He lost interest in most things,
sports, academics, and his social life.
Jim had been an amazing athlete who had
competed in Mexico, for Canada, at the Junior
World Championships in flatwater sprint
canoeing. Another tragedy struck.
Almost a year after my Dad died, Jim was
in a terrible car accident that he was able
to walk away from. I can t remember exactly
what happened to his back, but I know it
was hurt bad enough that he had to be on
strong painkillers. One week after the accident,
Jim was at a friend s birthday party. It
was there that he went into massive convulsions
that required his friends to rush him to
the hospital. Unfortunately these convulsions
had cut off the oxygen supply to his brain,
resulting in permanent brain damage.
This was another huge blow to our family
resulting in a greater burden was placed
on my mother. In addition to coping with
the death of my father she now needed to
locate fulltime, lifetime care for my brother.
Four years passed, I was sixteen years
old. I remember the day perfectly when my
sister showed up at my high school, from
her University. She took me out of class
and brought me out to lunch to tell me the
news. My mom had been diagnosed with breast
cancer. Treatment was swift, and there was
hope. My sister and I were devastated, but
we had enough resolve and strength from
our past experiences, to bond together as
a family to be there for our mom. We were
strong for her because she taught by her
actions to persevere.
For two years life went on as usual, but
as a family, when we found out the cancer
had spread, along with our shock, we had
the resolve that more bad news could not
destroy us. Originally, the doctors were
confident that the lumpectomy was successful.
There is always the chance of stray cells
and metastasis, one can only hope for the
best. This time, the cancer had spread to
her brain and the doctors were giving her
one-year to live.
The three of us had the support of my mom
s sister, Margaret. She helped all of us
to deal with my mother s cancer treatments
over the next 10 months. Auntie Marg, without
children of her own, gave us so much time,
love and affection, that I will always be
grateful. During that time, my mother still
managed to make her regular visits to Jim
and to shuffle me around to all my MTHL
hockey games and tournaments with a bandana
or wig on her head and lots of pride.
I also remember my mom spending countless
hours on the phone, late into the night,
helping other people who were widowers,
supporting families of brain injury, or
helping people dealing with cancer. What
made my mom a true hero was that she did
beat cancer by living five years longer
than they allowed. She fought dementia and
had to learn how to write legibly again.
She lived because of her devotion to her
family, faith in God and need to not abandon
her three children.
My best years with my mom were when I decided
to end my high school career early, and
go into business with her. I was seventeen
and didn’t t want to spend time wasted
at school when my mom might only have 12
months to live. She supported my decision
to open my bicycle store and take on the
role of being my accountant. This period
of time allowed us to deeply bond, connecting
us on an entirely different level. I learned
a lot about my father because my mother
told me lessons he learned during his life
of being a businessman. My mom and I ended
up building a lucrative business. I felt
successful because I knew she was proud
of me.
Five years after her second bought of cancer,
the tumors took over once again. I truly
believe, that at this time in her life,
my mom was at peace. She had run out of
strength and finally succumbed to the cancer,
but not before my business was strong and
I had the support of my new partner, Ira
Kargel. My sister had a successful career
and home in St. Catharine’s, and my
brother was safely living with private,
institutionalized, long-term care. Three
weeks later, she passed.
It has been nine years, I miss her dearly,
but she still has a major effect on me every
day. Whenever good things happen at home
or in business, I know she plays a part
in shaping my fate. This day of riding is
for you, I love you mom.
Kevin
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Post Race Reports/Articles
Read post race articles from Oliver Moore of the Globe and Mail, Danny Chew of RaceAcrossAmerica.org, and Race Crew commentary. Read More.
A Note From Kevin on Day 6
I must say I am both humbled and appreciative of each of your comments. They mean so much to me providing much needed energy to myself and my team. Read More.
Dedications
As the endless miles attack Kevin's legs and soul, he'll draw strength from
thoughts of these eight courageous women. Read More.
Kevin's Message
I would like to thank my friends that are not on my crew during the race but have been part of the crew in preparation. Read More.
The Quest
Team Race makes it official. Our intent is to break the Mens SOLO RAAM record. Read More.
Kevin's Gear List
I am packing some last minute items on the eve of flying out to start line and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Read More.
Kevin's Reflection from RAAM 2004
To compete in Race Across America (RAAM) was a dream come true. Read More.
The World's Toughest Race
Still the numbers are provocative and set ones mind to churning, and when the churning is done and the initial disbelief lingers. Read More.
RAAM DNF - The Noble Defeat
Today we will explore some of the DNF Dragons that have seduced, cajoled, and downright wrestled past RAAM riders to give up. Read More.
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